We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
