The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
