they need to just BURY HIM!
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
