Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
