Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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