2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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