I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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