I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
