Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
