hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
