She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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