im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
