So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
