This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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