cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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