I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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