Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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