I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I feel great
I just peed on a car
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
