just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
oh god was she eating orange peels again
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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