we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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