Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
