i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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