Umm I'm too high to move.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
3pm strippers are depressing
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
