i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize