That's when you crack a 10am beer
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize