i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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