He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
