found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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