He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
