I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
