he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
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