The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
