Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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