i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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