i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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