dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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