Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
