I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
