I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
