I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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