ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
