I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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