Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
