I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
