I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
