So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Walk of Shame today included voting.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
