Sponge bath it is.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
