I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
