I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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