I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
