i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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