She announced her abortion via fbk
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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