The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
God I need to hump something, right now.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
