Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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