I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm bleeding and have questions
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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