Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
