lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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