I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
